House of Pain

   Let’s get to the latest toothache news.  The good news is that it’s just a shallow cavity, and that there is no abscess.  The bad news is that based on the dental x-rays, my tooth is impacted on my mandible and is turning my mandibular nerves on haywire.  Or that this is a relapse of my old friend: neuralgia.

   So you see, this isn’t a simple toothache.  Even the most potent of my dentist’s analgesics don’t do anything to arrest the pain.  I’ve been popping mefenamic acid like crazy, and I’ve graduated to ibuprofen.  For all the Ponstan, Alaxan and Flanax in my system, I should fail a drug test by now.  Worse, the pain is spreading to my left side: the side once afflicted with neuralgia.  So I suppose I have every right to scream like a caged animal.

   I have a high tolerance for pain: other people cry over splinters, migraines, back spasms.  Not me: I bumped my head once on an iron rail, lost a lot of blood, and never shed a tear.  I’ve taken blows to my kidneys by standing on the wrong side of a door, and never let out a scream.  Heck, the day I lost my girlfriend, I cried three days after we broke up.  But this is ridiculous: I stay up all night screaming like crazy from the pain on one tooth?