Following the lead of my friend Erik, here are five notes for the weekend.

1. You turn paranoid.  Drew Carey once said that all it takes is three walls for a man to feel trapped.  My paranoia almost always acts up on me, but never more so with my cubicle.  After working on a few write-ups, I look over my shoulder to see if anyone’s watching me doing the old Alt-Tab between my article, the 10 tabs of Firefox I use for researching my articles, and that other Firefox window that’s on YouTube.
2. You dream about your cube.  You really need to go see a psychotherapist if much of your dreams are about you and your cubicle.  Trust me.  There are better things out there to dream about than facing a blank wall.
3. You rearrange your workstation layout more than necessary, and realize that it will always work the same way.  I’ve tried moving my monitor to the left side of my cube, then to the right side of my cube, then to the center of my table.  I tried sitting towards the left of my cube, the right side of my cube, then the middle of my cube… until I realized that I can only do so much with five square feet of space.  So I just settled for placing the monitor to my right.
4. You think you own your cube.  Scott Adams writes that no office worker ever outlasts a cubicle; that on the contrary, your cubicle owns you.  I’ve seen my officemates decorate their cubes with all sorts of self-expressive stuff like toys and Post-It notes.  Maybe I should buy a Mirmo doll.  Besides, the night-shifter who may be using “my” cube reserves the right to leave his Fit N’ Right bottles strewn at the back of “my” monitor.
5. You have lost all sense of night and day.  I enter the office in the morning and leave at night.  ‘Nuff said.

I never asked you for anything before.  I’m not asking you to do anything that will get you into trouble, or send you to jail.  All I am asking you is to resist.

Before anything else, an apology is in order.  I have to apologize for my rather caustic and violent statements over the past few days, here in my site and at Patriots4Truth.  There are a lot of things I should learn, both as a writer and as a person.  I believe in open communication, but there are a lot of things I myself should learn about respect.  I apologize for anyone I may have hurt in my tirades over the past few days.  I hold myself personally responsible for whatever damage this brief altercation may have caused.  It behooves me - not as an act of conscience, but as an act of respect - to apologize for the tone of my statements.

However, I do not - and I cannot - retract the meaning I intended for my statements.  I will stand by the essence of those statements: that President Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo should be held accountable not only for the NBN-ZTE controversy, but for the “Hello Garci” scandal of the 2004 national elections.

This is why I call upon you to resist.  I do not care how you do it.  Just resist.

If you remain blind to the crimes, the shortcomings, and the betrayals of this government, you do nothing but to concede and to consent and to tolerate what we have now.  In this “free country,” we do not have the right to information: the Supreme Court of the Philippines has just ruled in favor of Sec. Romulo Neri invoking “executive privilege” on the NBN-ZTE deal, paralyzing our common search for truth.  In this “booming economy,” there are many of us who do not reap the rewards of what is supposed to be a stronger peso.  In this country “governed by the rule of law,” the President circumvents it by passing executive orders against dissent and criticism.

Which basically means that we are not free.  Our economy is not booming.  Our country is governed not by law, certainly not by justice, but by a disregard for the law and a disavowal of justice.

I am not here to explain or excuse an outburst of anger.  But I ask you this: are you not angry?  Are you not enraged?  The rich get richer and the poor get poorer, the powerful become ever more powerful and the powerless go ever more powerless than they are before.  When do we act?

“Revolution” is often spoken of in this country: moral revolutions, intellectual revolutions, economic revolutions, armed revolutions.  We can all disagree with what constitutes a revolution, but ladies and gentlemen, this country was founded on revolution.  It is revolution that this country needs more than ever.  This revolution may not need arms, it may not need weapons, and it may not need violence.  This revolution may not be in the mountains, and it may not need to be held in the streets.  This revolution needs two things: a cause for resistance, and people who will resist.

If you will settle for this government, if you will tolerate the lapses in judgment that this government has symbolized for the past seven years, and if you will concede and consent to the injustices and intolerable mistakes of this Administration, the change you will ask for will not materialize.  Change will not be served to you on a silver platter: you will have to fight for that change.  You will resist against those forces that deny change, and leading those forces will be the government that will do everything in its power to stay in power.

It is not going to be easy.  There will be people who will go against you.  You will exchange heated words, you will draw swords, and you may even resort to drawing a gun.  You will not like it at times.  You will grow tired of it one day.  You who read this would probably blame me for it in the future.  But as long as you do not resist, and if at any moment you cease to resist, you will one day cease to exist.

If you value your freedom, if you value your country, if you value the next generation, you will resist now.  The next generation cannot - and it will not - wait for you to expect them to do something about it.

I do not know how you will do it.  But I know how I’m going to do it: as long as I write here, as long as my wrists do not give way, as long as I can, I will resist.

All I’m asking you to do is to resist.

I don’t mind making enemies in the blogosphere.  You can’t please everybody, even disembodied “anonymous” people.  In these trying times for the Philippines, there’s no such thing as an “unpopular” opinion.  There are opinions.  There are challenges.

I have laid down a challenge at Patriots4Truth, and here’s what yet another disembodied ghost who happens to have an opinion about Philippine politics has to say about me.  In its entirety:

@ Mark Ronald Rimorin

You think, you can enter a room and bash people just because they talk about political issues without revealing their names to each other? You are an arrogant idiot. I visited your site and read that you chose to justify your case on your blog instead,haha.. (brave daw)You can’t even answer the questions posted to you by someone who challenged you here. You just mentioned another unproven accusation against people. Well, I hope that person visited your blog. There’s no indication, if he did, he could have seen how lousy you argued about it, or maybe he didn’t bother to answer because it’s worthless. haha, come on, dignify me, dispute me. Hey, 22 year old UP student from Bagiuo, Mark Ronald Rimorin, who writes a lot on cyberspace, invite your readers to see what I wrote for you and bash me in your articles to vindicate yourself, but dont just choose some parts of my message for you, take it all. Too bad, it’s just another anonymous fella who does not believe in your doctrine about anonymity. You know, if you have a problem with people like poorstupidboy_69 because you have invented some sort of moral guidelines, well those people well may or must not like you either. And uhmm, dude, you think highly of yourself to the point of belittling other people just to show youre good or superior perhaps. But I dont think so,you are simply an arrogant braggart. That is the price of saying “damn you” Mark Ronald Rimorin. That is the price. btw, can I call you now, stupid? since you admitted being stupid? ok, so long stupid!

I am posting this blog entry as a response to Mr. Anonymous, who I am sure Mrs. Arroyo would not be inviting to be at her defense when her reckoning comes.  I am also cross-posting the following entry at the aforementioned blogsite.

I know I have better things to write about, but I’m reserving my first-person blathering for this weekend.  - Marck

*     *     *

You’re damn right, Patriots4Truth: damn you.

I’m not here to defend Jun Lozada, nor am I here to praise him.  As I said before, Lozada’s testimony is nothing more than icing on the cake, just another reason in that long list of reasons for Gloria Arroyo to remove herself - or be removed - from office.  Her legitimacy is in question.  Her character is in question.  Which basically means that her leadership is in question.

While we’re on the subject of questions, let me ask you a simple question: who are you?

I’m sure you would prefer not to mention who you are, other than the fact that you’re “Anonymous” or you are “Patriots.”  Maybe your patriotism is an excuse for your anonymity.  OK, let’s settle for that.  How could I, a citizen of a free country who has the inalienable right to information, be able to make a fair assessment about the Jun Lozada issue if I do not know who you are?

Let me now proceed to descend into madness by answering accusations from faceless people.

*   *   *

If Lozada is proven to be corrupt beyond suspicion: by all means, send him to jail.  You can even garrote him in Quirino Grandstand, for all I care.  If we all stand against massive corruption in the government, I say we bring back capital punishment; let’s make plunder, corruption, and graft crimes punishable by death.

I almost forgot: justice is very selective in the Philippines.  While you flog and flay a Jun Lozada in a public forum, you refuse to lay a single finger on that other suspected corrupt government official, the President herself.  Why?  “Because there is no alternative to GMA.”

Since when?  So you’re telling me that when she committed that infamous “lapse in judgment” years ago, she did it because “there was no alternative?”  I’ll give you alternatives to the President that I’m sure you will dispute.  I’m sure you will disagree with me that the Vice President, the Senate President, the president of your local women’s club, the president of the jeepney association, are alternatives to Mrs. Arroyo.  There is no such thing as “no alternative.”

You say your parents fought at EDSA.  Mine did, too.  They pushed for alternatives to Marcos at a time when “there was no alternative to Marcos.”  Why can’t we do the same?  Since when did GMA become the permanent President of the Philippines?

As Rousseau writes: “The strongest is never strong enough to be always the master, unless he transforms strength into right, and obedience into duty.”  This is the backbone of the social contract.  Mrs. Arroyo has transformed strength into might, and obedience into passivity.  She has violated the social contract: EO 464, emergency powers, political killings, media violence, holiday economics, and the “mere” fact that she “protected her votes” in 2004.

*   *   *

“Anonymous” claims that we can’t oust GMA, much less can GMA remove herself from office, because “the law does not say otherwise.”  He/she asks: “What did you do about it, save for shouting in the streets?”

Pardon the childish retort: what did YOU do about it?

I shouted in the streets demanding for justice and fairness because my vote was compromised.  My future was jeopardized.  Why?  It was the only thing I can do: to exercise my Constitutionally protected right to voice out my discontent.

You, on the other hand, tolerated it.  You allowed it to happen.  In your blind, passive, non-critical support of the President who can do no wrong, you allowed this to happen.  You exercised your right to remain silent.  Here’s the strange part: you were never arrested.  You cannot invoke the right to remain silent when you are free.  When your freedoms are violated, you should be anything but silent, much less anonymous.

So I guess I cannot blame the President for everything after all.  Let’s face it: as a “savage anti-GMA fanatic,” I only have YOU to blame for this.  Now doesn’t that suck?  You, in your search for truth and in all your bravado of patriotism, allowed the President to call a COMELEC official, allowed her to “protect her votes,” and in effect, you are allowing her to hush up over the NBN-ZTE deal.

How patriotic of you.  What a hero you are.  Shame on you.  No, to reiterate, damn you.

*   *   *

Which brings me to those two words.  I did not “invent” that “moral code.”  You know why you feel so insulted with a “Damn you?”  Because it burns in deep, dude.  It hits you right on the spot.  I’m not asking you to back up your version of the truth: I’m demanding that you stand by your version of the truth.  That you man up to it.  At this point, you don’t.  You can’t own up to any accusation you hurl, while you demand Lozada to own up to his own faults.  You are a spineless coward.

Do you think I would benefit from anything or gain popularity by using my real name?  Like I said, I did not “invent” that “moral code.”  I did not invent what people like Conrad de Quiros, Alex Magno, Cristy Fermin, Lolit Solis, Jun Lozada, and even Gloria Arroyo have in varying degrees.  Not bravery, but integrity.  You sir, in your preference to play on the irony of my use of the word “stupid,” do not display a shred of integrity.

You see, it’s so easy to hurl accusations against somebody while you hide under the skirt of your own anonymity.  It’s so easy to accuse, knowing that you don’t have to be accountable to anybody outside of the cashier at your P20-an-hour Internet shop.  You accuse me of arrogance?  You dare accuse me of lousy argumentation?  You dare mock me with your Kindergarten command of the English language?  Your version of humility disgusts me.  Your arguments are devoid of style and substance.  Your mockery holds no more meaning for me than what pleasure you find in kissing the figurative, non-literal, metaphorical buttocks of the President.

That is not the price of insulting me, Mr. Anonymous.  Consider that a freebie.  It has been my distinct displeasure writing this entry, knowing that I have just wasted time on a socio-political amoeba like you.

Running through my boardmate’s men’s magazines, I came across an issue that featured a classmate of mine back in elementary school.  I knew all about her going va-va-voom, but this was the first time I actually saw the onomatopoeia for myself.

This was the girl I developed a puppy crush on back in Grade V?  This was the girl who looked so cute with her half-frame glasses and blue cable-knit sweaters?

Make those exclamation points, emphasizing the urge to kick my own ass.  Being a meek, quiet, timid, wimpy, doormat (as a verb), non-expressive, I-talk-to-plants little nerd back then - pardon my self-deprecation - I would have had a supermodel-beauty queen girlfriend right now.

Oh well, this is not the time to wallow in self-loathing.  The year 1997 is ancient history: it was the last millennium, for crying out loud.  Nowadays, “puppy love” is obsolete, an archaic ritual now reserved for old women who fly from San Francisco, California just to meet Willie Revillame… OK, that’s “Papi love.”

*     *     *

I was supposed to buy my weekly Stored Value Pass, when I realized that the MRT doesn’t run on Easter Sunday.  So much for celebrating the resurrection of Christ with joy in our hearts and elation for the second coming of the Messiah.  I found myself riding a rickety old Sampaguita bus today.  Hey, at least it’s just ten bucks off my pocket.  Never mind that this bus, with all the energy of a hacking old man with tuberculosis, was plying EDSA.

I decided to walk to the “next bus stop,” which was supposed to be the one a few dozen feet behind me, when I saw the ABS-CBN compound.  I now realize that getting exclusive seats in “Wowowee” is easier than being a Pappie Boy.  You simply have to have the patience to buy at an ukay store and live at the following places in Cubao:

1. New York
2. Washington
3. Seattle
4. Maryland
5. Alabama
6. Albany
7. Minnesota
8. Pittsburgh
9. Miami
10. Illinois

As for me, a resident of Krus na Ligas, I could make an excuse that I live in some common place in America called “Holy Cross.”

I switch cigarette brands like a dirty old man in a Caloocan prostitution den, but I have never used a cellphone that’s not made by Nokia.  I’ve had my Nokia 6300 for three weeks, and realized how much of a liability it is everytime I board an MRT or go to a really crowded place, like say Victory Liner Cubao.  So I made my dad an offer he can’t refuse: my N6300 for his Sony Ericsson K750i.  After all, he’s been eyeing my phone for quite a while now.

I like the K750i, even if it’s an older phone.  As much as I still despise the idea of camera phones, the K750i has a more responsive camera than the N6300.  Its sound quality is phenomenal: even better than an iPod.  The only downside is that I have a less-clearer display than the N6300, and Sony Ericsson’s layout takes a bit of getting used to.

Hey, at least it’s a heavy, bulky phone.

*     *     * 

Sometimes I ask myself why I’m such a fickle-minded customer: I can’t seem to stick with a single brand of anything.  There are a few notable exceptions to the rule:

• I almost always wear Levi’s;
• It’s Coke or nothing, and;
• I will never drink a beer that’s not proudly Philippine made.

So much for brand loyalty.