0h YeS. I wIlL d0 iT. I WiLl WrItE tHiS eNtIrE p0sT iN sTiCkY cApS. NeVeR mInD tHaT iT’s CrUeL aNd UnUsUaL pUnIsHmEnT, bUt I’lL d0 It AnYwAy.
0h, It WiLl TaKe A wHiLe. ThE dIfFeReNcE iS tHaT i’Ll WrItE iN tHe SaMe WaY i AlWaYs D0 WiTh ReSpEcT t0 SpElLiNg AnD rEaS0nAbLy G00d GrAmMaR, bUt i WilL kEeP uSiNg StIcKy CaPs tHr0UgH tHe C0UrSe 0F tHiS p0sT t0 pR0Ve a P0InT. It WiLl Be AnN0YiNg. It WiLl Be BuRnInAtI0N. AnD i’Ll Be DaMnEd If I wIlL d0 tHiS aGaIn. EvEr.
It SeEmS tHaT tHe BiG tHiNg Am0nG y0UnG pE0PlE t0dAy Is T0 wRiTe In InC0HeReNt, IrRiTaTiNg, BrAiN-bUrNiNaTiNg StIcKy CaPs. It’S tHe “In” ThInG, I gUeSs. TeXt MeSsAgEs, FaCeB00k StAtUs MeSsAgEs, PlUrK aNd TwItTeR uPdAtEs, Y0U nAmE iT. It’S iRrItAtInG, iT’s AnN0YiNg, AnD iT iS aN eMbArRasSiNg InDiCtMeNt T0 ThE c0lLeCtIvE iNtElLiGeNcE 0F aN eNtIrE gEnErAtI0N.
LeT mE pUt ThIs In HaRsHeR, m0Re DeScRiPtIvE, dIsTuRbInG tErMs. Wh0EvEr InVeNtEd ThIs Ab0mInAtI0N AnD bAsTaRdIzAtI0N 0f ThE bAsIc RuLeS 0F SyNtAx AnD cApItAlIzAtI0N sH0UlD bE hAnGeD bY tHe NeCk In RuStY rAz0R wIrE, dEcApItAtEd WiTh A dUlL nAiLcUtTeR, bUrIeD iN a DrUm 0F bUrNiNg SuLfUr, AnD sEt 0N FiRe WhIlE bEiNg Sh0T 0Ut 0F a CaNn0N t0 KiNgD0M c0mE. AnD i H0Pe ThAt ThE iNc0NtInEnT h0UnDs 0F tHe AfTeRlIfE w0UlD uRiNaTe 0N tHe AsHeS, t00.
