Comments on: Mono No Aware

By: tina

tina — Fri, 30 Oct 2009 02:42:58 +0000

marocharim: have to concede that i completely missed the future tense in that second to the last paragraph. ^^

i guess i’m just not into minimalism. i tend to look for the extra nuances and texture of additional description… anyway, it’s good to hear you appreciate my comments.

By: elmot

elmot — Thu, 29 Oct 2009 09:31:09 +0000

Sometimes I would also just want to be immersed in this state when everything flies away and all I am doing is sitting in transient silence and solitude.

But it seems that it is impossible to comprehend things and changes and movements; that all I could do is go with the flow.

By: Althea

Althea — Thu, 29 Oct 2009 01:08:08 +0000

Just curious; why are you saying goodbye to a ‘job you’ve grown to like’? chismax

By: Marocharim

Marocharim — Wed, 28 Oct 2009 04:46:31 +0000

tina: i was trying to achieve the Yoshida Kenko “wabi-sabi” – slash – “meh” approach, w/c admittedly is epic fail in this case (although srsly i’m flattered guys like you take time to read *and* deconstruct, i have the feeling i should always be on the lookout). it worked fine for me since I haven’t left yet. consider how the entry “passes” before the emotion is actually felt, so for the most part it’s just terse laundry-list description (which is often my mistake when i write anyway), so the “kulang” is deliberate

anyway i’m just making excuses, LMAO. i’ll take those tips to account when i actually say goodbye. ^^

By: tina

tina — Wed, 28 Oct 2009 04:27:32 +0000

and why don’t you have to brace yourself for it? not a bad last sentence, but it doesn’t seem to be well-supported.

i like the idea for the post, but the execution itself is kinda…pfft. second to the last paragraph needs some expounding. what was probably the core of the piece was scrunched up and delivered tersely. no wonder the last sentence doesn’t hold up. ^^ although i guess you were going for something ineffable… unfortunately, just describing it doesn’t really have that much impact. somehow you have to make us *feel* that ineffable thing. like maybe through showing us how you said goodbye, to whom and to what you said goodbye. something concrete to help get the ineffable thing down.

bittersweet sadness, huh? i guess you could do a kawabata yasunari-ish approach to this… his style would fit it perfectly. ^^