It’s a weekend and as usual, I’m bored.  You know what they say about the idle mind being the cradle of evil…

Evil, of course, is when you translate songs by Aegis into English.

Say what?  Lemme explain: when you’re trying to figure out what to do on a weekend, you start to think of rather unusual ways to pass the time.  For all intents and purposes, you descend into madness.  You can only read so many books, smoke so many cigarettes, and walk so many miles that you want to do something different, except for recreational drug use and discounted rooms at Sogo.

I guess that no wrist-slashing emo kid will ever admit to it, but Aegis is the local version of emo.  Granted that “Luha” and “Halik” are songs you would hear on weekend karaoke sessions in the provinces, but after a few bottles of San Miguel Pale Pilsen, you feel the urge to wail out into the microphone.  Proof: translate Aegis songs into English, and you have the general theme of crappy emo songs.  Or maybe Dionne Warwick and Tina Turner.

If you’re a long-time reader, you probably already know that I have this really disgusting habit of translating jologs song lyrics (especially whenever I have absolutely no idea what to write about).  Jologs?  Hell no: leave it to me to make something sound even cooler.  And yes, even more jologs.  So here are my translations of some of Aegis’ most popular hits over the years.

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KISS

Translation of “Halik” by Aegis

Verse 1
I don’t want you to know
It hurts me to see you go
Without you my world will be torn apart (oh no)
But whatever can I do
I start to cry when I’m missing you
Without you by my side, it really breaks my heart

Verse 2
Now that you’ve gone and you set us free
I know how much you have meant to me
So I’m singing this song for the memories
Of a love story that was meant to be

Refrain
‘Coz you are, my body and mind
My heart and my soul
You make me complete, you make me so whole

Chorus
Let me kiss you, ‘coz I’ll miss you
Let me hold you, ‘coz I love you
Why did you ever let me go…

Bridge
You really break my heart oh baby
Everytime I see your face
You make me break to tears oh baby
When it’s someone else that you embrace

Repeat Bridge, Refrain, Chorus 2x to fade

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ALL DRENCHED IN THE RAIN 

Translation of “Basang-Basa sa Ulan” by Aegis

Verse 1
Here I am again, on my own
Making my journey, in the middle of darkness
Here I walk again, I keep on falling down
But here I am, I keep on rising above

Refrain
Here I am, all drenched in the rain
No place to go home to, not a friend to talk to
I hope I still have tears, ‘coz I cried them all out
My heartaches and my sorrows, I hope they’re gone tomorrow

Verse 2
Dirt and the filth on my body and soul
Chilling, howling winds, and the dreadful silence
Every drop of rain, the awful cold
All are telling me to let go of my love

Repeat Refrain

*     *     *

MY LOVE 

Translation of “Sinta” by Aegis

Verse 1
My love for you, is real and oh so true
Love as sweet as wine, it’s as bright as sunshine
Open your door, let me love you once more
Heaven’s what I feel, everytime that you are near, my love

Chorus
Dreaming of you all the time, I see stars in your eyes
These feelings deep inside, are things I cannot hide
I go crazy over you, my heart beats for only you
From this corner of the room, I sing for you
My love…

Verse 2
Feel the rhythm of my heart, let’s make a brand-new start
Love, look at my lips, I thirst for just one long kiss, my love

Repeat Chorus

*     *     *

NOW THAT YOU’VE GONE AWAY AND BROKE MY HEART 

Translation of “Luha” by Aegis

Verse 1
I thought you were the one for me
That you were real and true as can be
But when time came to hold you
You went out into the dark
I just wanted to be close to you
Oh, I just wanted you to know
All the pains that I went through
Mean nothing to you at all

Refrain
Oh I loved you with all my heart
I even made a brand-new start
But then I realized that I’m such a fool
To have ever loved someone like you

Chorus
I don’t love you anymore
Go on away, walk out the door
All I ever felt for you are now all but gone
And if there’s one thing you should know
You hurt me once and hurt me some more
A love and an affection that even in tears
I’m willing to let go

Verse 2
Take a look at this reality
We’re the same, oh, both you and me
We both feel pain, we both get hurt
But you treated me like dirt

Repeat Refrain and Chorus

Coda 1
I don’t want to dream
I don’t want to be seen
I’m somewhere in between
Now that you’ve gone away and broke my heart
Oh, life’s a wheel
Life just keeps on spinning
Once I was pulled under
Why am I still under the wheel?
Oh, life’s a wheel
Life just keeps on spinning
Once I was pulled under
Someday I’m gonna rise above

While I do read the occasional back-issue of FHM, I am not exactly into it.  If anything, women from classic Hollywood films appeal to me more than a Katrina Halili or an Angel Locsin.  While I do find myself crushing on some of the more current female celebrities, I look up to the women of classic films as stars.  It’s the kind of admiration that makes me wish I was there on film’s golden age.

Many of my friends say that I am extremely difficult to please.  Suffice to say, I am: I have to look at a girl I crush on and see some sort of classic Hollywood feature in her before I really fall.  I guess that explains it.

Everyone will have their own favorite celebrities… here are ten of mine.  Enjoy.

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Marlene Dietrich 

Marlene Dietrich is the classic Hollywood femme fatale.  In her Hollywood career, Marlene has always been considered an “outsider;” her foreign looks added more mystique to her image.  Marlene is, was, and forever will be a Hollywood legend: her presence in films like Morocco and Shanghai Express are most memorable.  If anything, what I really admire about Marlene is that glance - that look - that made her such an iconic image in popular culture, from The Beatles’ Sgt. Pepper album to Madonna.

*     *     *

Zsa Zsa Gabor

In the history of Hollywood intrigue, if you get married nine times, get divorced seven times, have one annulled marriage and are currently married to a rather strange guy, you must be a real legend.  Zsa Zsa Gabor is one of those legends.  There’s just something about old portraits of Zsa Zsa that speaks to why she really is that famous: those arching eyebrows, those high cheekbones, that socialite grace.  In this day and age of kikays who go clubbing on a Saturday night, they can always learn a thing or two from Zsa Zsa.

*     *     *

Rita Hayworth

I think that no other actress can wear the slinky red dress better than “The Love Goddess” herself, Rita Hayworth.  Rita can do it all: she can dance, she can act, she can sing, and she’s one of the sexiest sex goddesses of classic cinema.  Her enduring grace and passionate performances are the stuff of legend.  Who can forget Rita in Gilda, where that one glove she removed became one of the sultriest and most electrifying things that came off the silver screen?  I wouldn’t mind having a poster of Rita Hayworth a’la The Shawshank Redemption, although there would be more reasons for me to stay in prison than to tunnel out.

*     *     *

Marilyn Monroe 

There’s just something about Marilyn.  Far from being the stereotypical blonde bombshell, Marilyn’s tragic death only served to highlight her remarkable life.  That skirt-blowing scene in The Seven Year Itch is something to remember; so is her song “Diamonds are a Girl’s Best Friend.”  To be honest, the only reason why I read the plays of Arthur Miller is because of Norma Jean.  And there’s just something about how you say that name - “Marilyn Monroe” - that still reminds you of how much a superstar she is today as she was back then.  Then again, everything about Marilyn will always be a mystery… that’s why she’ll always be a star, a legend, and an icon of the silver screen.

*     *     * 

Lauren Bacall 

Ah, Lauren Bacall.  That penetrating gaze, that voice, those smart remarks.  In these days of “dumb bimbos” and all-out stupidity in weekend showbiz shows, our local celebrities can - and should - learn a thing or two from Lauren.  “Looking at yourself in a mirror isn’t exactly a study of life,” she says, and it still holds true today.  The many things she has to say about her ex-husband Frank Sinatra are stuff that should right now be on Friendster shoutouts.  A journalist once called Lauren: “Slinky as a lynx, hot as pepper, cool as rain, dry as smoke.”  Suffice to say, that’s a good way to describe Lauren Bacall.  Among other things, she is truly a legend of the silver screen.

*     *     * 

Sophia Loren 

“Everything you see,” said Sophia Loren once, “I owe to spaghetti.”  There must be more than spaghetti that explains why Sophia’s legs go on forever.  Whether or not she had an affair with Cary Grant is something we may never know, but if they ever did, Cary must be one lucky dog.  What exactly is in Sophia Loren, I do not know.  Millions of men would have had fantasies and dreams of Sophia Loren.  Even I did; to be perfectly honest, I fall ever-so-often for girls who have the eyes of Sophia.  Not too many girls could have the kind of figure Sophia Loren has, even at 73.

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Greta Garbo

In this day and age of Paris Hilton’s, Britney Spears’s, and Lindsay Lohan’s, few celebrities will ever have that defining mystique that becomes Hollywood glamour at its finest.  Such is Greta Garbo.  She was intensely private; she didn’t sign autographs, she didn’t give interviews, she didn’t divulge much of her personal affairs.  Even in her silent films, her introverted disposition gave her a mystery that is the stuff of Hollywood legend.  As a star of silent films, Greta let her actions do all the talking.  Hey, nobody’s complaining.  When you are an actress the caliber of Greta Garbo, you don’t need publicity stunts.  If anything, Greta is the ideal actress.

*     *     *

Ingrid Bergman 

My favorite classic movie - period - is Casablanca.  Not only because of that painful heartbreaking story, but because of Ingrid Bergman.  While gin joints and piano bars are a thing of the past these days, Ingrid Bergman forever remains to be one of the best actresses of classic film.  There’s something about Ingrid: her voice, her presence on camera, her many award-winning performances, her timeless beauty.  Or that song she told Sam to play again is a good metaphor.  As time goes by, she is that legendary actress that few will ever match, much less surpass.  Then again, they’ll always have Paris… and we’ll always have Ingrid.

*     *    *

Grace Kelly 

No other actress possesses the kind of beauty and grace of the one and only Grace Kelly, Princess of Monaco.  Films like Dial M for Murder and On the Waterfront showcase her talents, and that statuesque, graceful, royal figure she has.  Not to mention that smile… how many times have I tried - and failed - to hold up on my stoic, unresponsive usual expression whenever I saw Grace smile on those pictures.  And those eyes… royal, yet at the same time ever-so-charming.  How many actors in Hollywood have fallen in love with Grace Kelly, I do not know.  One thing is certain, though: they had all a good reason to fall in love with her.

*     *     * 

Audrey Hepburn 

Breakfast at Tiffany’s is one of my favorite classic movies, and Audrey Hepburn is one of my favorite actresses of all time.  There’s something about Audrey and that little black Givenchy dress.  Audrey Hepburn set standards for fashion that to this very day are still emulated, repeated, but never duplicated.  Cuteness?  Timeless beauty?  Definitely understatements, for one of the greatest actresses ever on the silver screen.  Audrey was also a great humanitarian, which set the standard for almost every Angelina Jolie and KC Concepcion of today.  Yet it is her memorable performances - not just in Breakfast, but also in My Fair Lady and of course, Sabrina - that makes Audrey stand out as one of the greatest legends and most beautiful faces of cinema.  Besides, no one else can fit into that little black dress like Audrey.

 *     *     *

So there you have it.  There are definitely a lot more beautiful faces and potential timeless beauties in cinema today, but I think it would be hard to contest their beauty and grace.  I guess Lauren Bacall said it best:

I think your whole life shows in your face and you should be proud of that.  

So true.  So very true.

*     *     *

Credits

Marlene Dietrich’s image from (http://www.meaus.com/94-marlene-dietrich-poem.htm)
Zsa Zsa Gabor’s image from (http://www.garboforever.com/Garbos_Lovers-Friends-08.htm)
Rita Hayworth’s image from (http://www.divasthesite.com/Acting_Divas/Rita_Hayworth.htm)
Marilyn Monroe’s image from (http://www.nilacharal.com/enter/celeb/MarilynMonroe.asp)
Lauren Bacall’s image from (http://www.physicsforums.com/showthread.php?p=1479574)
Sophia Loren’s image from (http://www.flickr.com/photos/view-finder/1165633328/in/set-72157601532477672/)
Greta Garbo’s image from (http://pediafallen.blogspot.com/2008/03/greta-garbo.html)
Ingrid Bergman’s image from (http://www.ew.com/ew/gallery/0,,20041669_20041673_20152905_4,00.html)
Grace Kelly’s image from (http://www.biography.com/dead_famous/dead_episode_guide.jsp?episode=150123)
Audrey Hepburn’s image from (http://blog.pricegrabber.com/chicshopper/2007/11/27/film-fashion-breakfast-at-tiffanys/)

Let’s digress from political rants and just, well, spazz.  It’s a weekend and I’m bored.

My friend Erik says that my choices of Video of the Week are rather… well, disturbing.  I am told that some of my friends think that I have descended into madness because of my VotW choices (especially the previous winner).  On my defense, I have a very broad taste in music.  I listen to as much Smashing Pumpkins as I do Destiny’s Child.  If not for my work schedule, I would have memorized more Willie Revillame songs (even that new “Banana Split” thing that I just heard when I was having my laundry done).

Interesting (completely unverified and may be completely untrue) fact: today marks the sixth (or maybe seventh) year anniversary of F4 mania.  Are these memories best left forgotten?  Hmmm… try this on for size:

*     *     * 

*     *     * 

Yes, this week’s Video of the Week comes courtesy of Harlem Yu.  Disturbed?  I certainly hope so.

In case you have forgotten, “Qing Fei De Yi” was the opening theme of the original “Meteor Garden” series, when “Dao Ming Si” and “Shan Cai” were still household names.  This was a time when Vanness Wu’s haircut was extremely popular (not one of them side-swept cover-one-eye I-have-pubes-on-only-one-of-my-balls-if-you-check-my-nutsack-and-yes-my-penis-also-has-cuts-on-it-because-I’m-not-circumcised haircuts of today… whew).  These are the moments where I actually wish I actually watched “Meteor Garden,” for no apparent reason.  What pissed me off back then was that Josh Santana (whatever happened to him, anyway) became the Ted Ito of this generation, and made his own rendition of “Qing Fei De Yi.”  Surprisingly, I still memorized the Tagalog version,. which was entitled “Biyahe.”

Which basically means I don’t have to translate anymore.

I was listening to some performances of Shooter Jennings, but “Electric Rodeo” is not the Video of the Week.  I personally would nominate “Sweet Soul Revue” by Pizzicato 5, but I opted against it considering last week’s video, which was “Saigo No Iiwake.”

The inspiration for the Video of the Week is a conversation with an old friend: among the many love songs out there, what song are you guilty of listening to that is completely off your personality?  Oh boy.

So it’s not “Perfect” by Alanis Morissette, “Crash Into Me” by The Dave Matthews Band, nor is it “Wonderwall” by Oasis.  Not “Linger” by The Cranberries, and certainly not “Wonderful Tonight” by Eric Clapton.

To a probable stalker, the Video of the Week is useful Marocharim trivia.  Just what love song can make this cold-hearted jerk with arteries of stone and ventricles of concrete weep with the passion of a Gabriel Garcia Marquez protagonist?

*     *     *

*     *     *

You may now descend into meaningless, inconsiderate, ego-deflating laughter.  Yes, the original soundtrack to “The Lake House” is the song that never fails to make me cry.

“This Never Happened Before” is the kind of song that I would like played on my completely hypothetical, theoretical wedding (I had to emphasize that).  After all, a lot of possible ocassions can call for my rather weird interpretations of songs.  Consider the following examples:

• On my funeral: “Staying Alive” by The Bee Gees.  Everyone should wear tight bell-bottomed polyester pants, and two dancers should do the scene from “Dirty Dancing” right on top of my mirror-encrusted neon-lighted coffin.

• On the day of my daughter’s wedding: “Bitch” by Meredith Brooks.  I am very certain that my daughter will be a sexy lesbian dominatrix in leather and lace.

• On the day of my son’s wedding: Those country guitar twangs from “Brokeback Mountain.”  I am sure that my gay son will be asking for a honeymoon with his husband and ask me for two horses, a tent, and a big flock of sheep.

It’s not like I’m Keanu Reeves material (though I can imitate his voice), but I am very certain that you have to agree with me: this is one pretty nice song.  But my appreciation for this song is offset if I translate it into Filipino, since it sounds like it could be the next (oh boy) Willie Revillame hit.

I won’t go that far.

   I find myself extremely amused: in yesterday’s issue of The Philippine Star, the Kilusang Mambubukid ng Pilipinas (KMP) found themselves turned down by Angelina Jolie.  According to the article, Miss Jolie turned down the invitation by the KMP to come to the Philippines to check out the plight of internal refugees displaced by military operations.

   Point of amusement #1: I thought that lumping the “Entertainment,” “Philippines,” “Politics,” and “Sex” categories will not happen until 2010, or when Joey de Leon and/or Willie Revillame will file their candidacies for the Senate.  Point of amusement #2: it’s hard enough to score a date with Angelina Jolie, much less a political engagement such as this.  Point of amusement #3: she’s Angelina Jolie.

   The militants and progressives will probably hate me for this, but I find this extremely funny.  It is, after all, a time ripe for thinking about Valentine’s Day dates, and every red-blooded man would like to have Angelina Jolie as his Valentine.  I suppose that I could write Make-a-Wish right now and say that my wish is to have a dinner date with the star of “Tomb Raider,” “Girl, Interrupted,” and “Mr. and Mrs. Smith” on Valentine’s Day.

   Here’s a piece of advice for the KMP: in that long list of celebrities who can come to the Philippines at any time to speak out on the injustices of displacement, you need not look up at the Hollywood A-list.  Consider these options:

• Jean-Claude Van Damme: the star of such films as “Jihad Warrior” and “Universal Soldier” is the perfect mouthpiece for military operations in the country.
• Chuck Norris: the iconic Hollywood karate legend who starred in such films as “Braddock III,” “A Force of One,” and that commercial for Total Gym.
• Steven Seagal: this Hollywood action hero who starred in “Under Siege” and “Exit Wounds” can speak out on issues of injustice with a voice heard by millions.
• Michael Keaton/Kevin Costner: who better to stand for the issue of social justice than the very actors who played Batman?

   I know what you’re thinking: action stars who probably would have done a better job than Sylvester Stallone in the latest “Rambo” movie would not suffice.  The people demand Angelina Jolie, but consider the alternatives:

• Justine Joli: former Penthouse model, star of “Barely Legal 50,” “Carnival Sluts and Circus Dicks,” and ”House of Ass.”
• Aurora Jolie: adult film star, star of “Whattabooty 2,” “Bikini Booty Bounce,” and “Culos Gigantes 2.”
• Ginger Jolie: former Hustler model, star of “Thrilling Stories of Chloroform Girls in Danger!” “Limo Confidential,” and “Secretaries in Bondage.”
• Jenaveve Jolie: adult film star, star of “Latina Crack Attack,” “Tits Ahoy 3,” and “Cheatin’ Chicas.”
• Ariana Jollee: adult film star, star of “Dripping Creampies 2,” “Best Deep Throat on the Planet,” and “White Butts Drippin’ Chocolate Nuts 3.”

   But let me get serious for a second: this isn’t about exposing the world into the injustices - perceived or actual - of displacement.  What gains are to be gotten in making Angelina Jolie a poster girl for the goings-on of displacement, when you can have somebody like Marian Rivera do it?  I think that the people, protected by the freedoms provided by the Constitution, are free to speak about the issues without having to use Angelina as a propaganda prostitute (although I think you’re free to do it with Justine Joli or Ariana Jollee).

   This, to me, is a matter of movements employing the tried-and-tired way of speaking out against the government: walking on a major thoroughfare carrying banners and burning effigies.  The Sumilao Farmers went the extra mile by walking from Bukidnon to Manila, and were subsequently imitated by other farmers’ groups.  Next thing you know, Tom Cruise will be preaching Scientology in Quirino Grandstand and Leonardo diCaprio will endorse a Presidential contender in 2010.

   Wake up and smell the roses, people!  Even movements that pride themselves about the issues now subscribe to the idea that it’s not about the steak, but about the sizzle.

From a CNN report: in Thailand, the flight attendant unions are complaining about a soap opera called “The Battle of Angels,” or “Songkram Nang Fah” in Thai. From what I watched, cabin crew slap each other, yank at each other’s hair, and engage in all-out catfights while dressed in miniskirts. I think of it as Thai-style “Marimar,” with the battle choreography of “Zaido” and the convoluted plot of “La Vendetta.”

So what are the Thai flight attendants so up-in-arms about? They’re worried about the overall “bad impression” that “The Battle of Angels” will have on the viewing public. In the soap opera, flight attendants are dressed in risqué outfits and have sex on flight stopovers. They squabble over the handsome pilot, and bitch-slap each other at high altitudes.

I like it: I can’t wait until they release the DVD version complete with subtitles, and I don’t mind watching a dubbed Filipino version. The idea of high-altitude cat-fights are a welcome respite from the usual formula of a Filipino soap opera.

It’s an automatic choice: “The Battle of Angels,” Pinoy version.

Now the Pinoy version of “The Battle of Angels” is not something I would like to see in GMA-7: I would like to see it in ABS-CBN. ABS’s talent pool is literally oozing with talent suitable for this soap opera.

I’m thinking Anne Curtis, Ruffa Gutierrez, and Jodi Sta. Maria as the stars of this soap. As far as the hunk pilot is concerned, I’m thinking that the Pinoy version of the controversial Thai soap is a good way for Jordan Herrera to make his showbiz comeback (he’s a former adult film star, and he was also in “Pinoy Mano-Mano: The Celebrity Boxing Challenge,” which means he knows a lot about boxing). If that doesn’t work, the best thespic choice for the role of hunk pilot would be Diether Ocampo. After all, “Margarita” flopped.

Speaking of “Margarita,” the Pinoy version of “The Battle of Angels” is a good way to sell the love-team of Wendy Valdez and Bruce Quebral. After all, Wendy has already played the bitch role in “Pinoy Big Brother Season 2.” I also thought of fairly decent titles for the Pinoy version, like “Biyaheng Langit,” “Langit, Lupa, Impyerno,” or “Alapaap.”

Here’s how I see the plot: Anne plays rich girl-turned-noveau poor who is forced to take up a job in an airline to support her family. Diether plays young pilot, and is new to the airline. First day on the job, Diether meets Jordan, his co-pilot. Jodi plays flirtatious flight attendant, fianceé of Diether. Diether falls in love with Anne at first sight. Diether, is engaged to Jodi, so animosity builds up between Anne and Jodi. Enter Ruffa: chief flight attendant, sugar-mommy to Jordan, but has the hots for Diether. Ruffa is willing to dump Jordan for Diether, and Jordan grows suspicious. However, Jordan also has feelings for Anne.

Wendy plays squatter girl near the airport. She is the live-in partner of Bruce, who plays a blue-collar worker. Wendy dreams of being a flight attendant, but Bruce - ever the patriarchal archetypal lalake - would have none of it. While selling halo-halo near the airport, Wendy meets Jordan, and concocts a plan to seduce Jordan for her to be a flight attendant.

Oh yeah, I smell ratings. ABS-CBN producers: here’s your new soap opera.

   Everyone knows Heath Ledger to be “that guy” from Brokeback Mountain: Ennis del Mar, the gay cowboy.  Brokeback Mountain is the stuff of gay jokes, that you can make punchlines out of lines like, “We’re out of beans, Jack” or “I wish I knew how to quit you.”  In a way, popular culture cemented Heath’s legacy as a gay cowboy.  Movies he starred in, like The Patriot, Monster’s Ball, Casanova, and The Brothers Grimm have become mere footnotes to his moving performance in Brokeback Mountain.

   Heath Ledger died today at the age of 28.  Heath stands out as one of the most versatile actors in Hollywood before he died, but he is a tragic figure: he died at the prime of his life, and at the pinnacle of his career.

   As a movie fan, I say I feel a sense of loss.  All too often, when an actor dies, we remember performances and not people.  We remember actors for the masks they wear on the silver screen, the roles they portray, and nothing else.  Those performances become engrained so much in our minds: when Heath Ledger died, most of us remembered Brokeback Mountain.  I can’t say that we remember him for anything else outside of being a performance, but that’s just it.  Save for papparazzi reports and the Hollywood press, that’s all there is for us to mourn and grieve about Heath Ledger.

   But then again, Heath is immortalized in celluloid: we may not know a lot about him, nor would we know the whole story behind his death.  Heath Ledger lives in his work, in every performance in his 12 years in cinema.  In that short time, Heath Ledger has proven to be one of the great actors of our time.

   He will be missed.

   I’m lazy, so let me do this entry in bullet-points.

• Mahal, Paglutuan Mo Ako Ng Tahong 
• Pitasin Mo Ang Kamias
• Hinog sa Pilit
• Sinampalukang Manok
• Extreme Papaya
• Buko Salad
• Mahirap Buksan ang Bote ng Kaong
• Ube, Macapuno, Pandan
• Kita Mo Na?
• My Girlfriend’s Girlfriend
• My Boyfriend’s Boyfriend
• Kapihan sa Sulo
• Sana’y Muling Makasiping
• Darna Meets Xerex Xaviera
• Sinukat Ka Ngunit Kulang
• Eseng Balondo: Filipino Gigolo
• Ang Bilis-Bilis Mo, Babes
• Ang Tagal-Tagal Mo, Babes
• Ang Tigas-Tigas Mo, Babes
• Ang Laki-Laki Mo, Babes
• Amoy sa Dibdib ni Sugar
• Marami Ka Pang Babayuhing Bigas
• Balahibong Aso
• Babangon Ako’t Papatungin Kita
• Papatong Ako’t Babangunin Kita
• Huwag Mong Silipin ang Sugat Ko
• Kunin Mo Ang Ulo Ni… Machete!
• Butong Pakwan
• Ipinagpalit Sa Halagang P100,000 Ang Nilalaman Ng Bayong
• Kung Tuturbohin Mo Lang Ako
• Zaldy, Pulis Pangkiskisan

   In a report by the Philippine Center for Investigative Journalism (PCIJ) entitled “Wowowee and the Women of 200 P. de la Cruz St.” (PCIJ iREPORT, March-June 2006; this article is also accessible here), Sheila Coronel writes:

The poor are a willing and captive audience of television.  In fact, poor people watch free television more, if only because they have few other alternative distractions.  In some poor households, the TV is on 16 or 18 hours a day.  The better off have cable TV, DVDs, and cinemas.  They visit malls, travel elsewhere during their vacations, eat out in restaurants, and look for nighttime entertainment in theaters and clubs.  The poor watch TV all day and all night. 

   It’s a small wonder why GMA-7 and ABS-CBN will fight like Freddy Krueger and Jason Voorhees not over the matter of killing a camp counselor, but denying the Filipino audience out of the freedom to choose.

   I’ve made my choice: screw them.

   For the past few weeks, both stations have been running long advertisements on tampered ratings: whether it’s on “24 Oras” or “TV Patrol World,” “Saksi” or “Bandila,” TV ratings are headline stories.  The two biggest free TV stations of the Philippines are demanding your undivided attention, ladies and gentlemen.  The media has polarized the country yet again into being either a “Kapuso” or “Kapamilya.”  It’s either you’re with them, or you’re against them.  This is nothing short of fascism: the kind of “us-against-them” mentality that threatens our freedom to choose.

   I made a decision today to quit watching free TV.  I’m boycotting free TV: I will no longer watch ABS-CBN or GMA-7.

   Tomorrow, I’m posting a manifesto.

   Just when I promised myself to quit writing about Manny Pacquiao, here comes another issue about him.

   Let me make one thing perfectly clear: I don’t hate Manny personally.  I have nothing to gain or to lose by writing anything about, for, or against Manny Pacquiao.  I’m entitled to a few opinions about him: one being that as far as one-dimensional boxers are concerned, he’s the best one-dimensional boxer in the world today.  Another being that he’s a first-rate patriot, a second-rate nationalist, and a third-rate politician.

   I think that getting fed up with Pacquiao - “Manny fatigue” - is not the reason why bloggers like myself are vocal in our contempt for him.  To be honest, most Filipinos would never tire of Pacquiao’s blazing speed and boxing prowess, and they will never tire of his indiscretions and excesses outside the ring ropes.  Manny gets himself into too much trouble: he digs too many holes and falls into them far too many times.  Manny, as a public figure, is a lot like a Britney Spears or a Paris Hilton or a Lindsay Lohan: far from being the national icon that he was then, Manny Pacquiao is now the new national embarrassment.

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   Glitchline and Tin Tinapay have already released the “Manny Pacquiao Scandal:” no, it’s not footage from “Anak ng Kumander” that involved torrid kissing scenes with Ara Mina and Valerie Concepcion (the latter appearing on “Entertainment Live” not too long ago in tears for whatever Pacman did to her), and Manny’s bad acting.  Instead, Manny - wearing a striped pink shirt I will never have the guts to wear - is seen dancing with some hot chicks at Embassy Bar.

   While you can’t really believe everything you see in the Internet, there’s just no denying that the guy wearing that hideous shirt (and gyrating with that girl clad in mucus green) is indeed the Philippines’ national boxing “hero.”  I do graphic design on the side, and there’s no way you can tell me that it is possible with current and available technology to “edit” that picture to make someone else look like Manny.

  Here’s the problem: Manny is idolized, if not venerated (without understanding, to invoke Renato Constantino), by the Filipino people.  In “Anak ng Kumander,” he portrayed a man of great ideals and fervent passion: in his “scandal,” he presents himself to be a lesser man of worldly passions.  Not that I’m preaching morals on Manny - who is more devout than I am - but is this something you would expect not only from a national icon, but from a married man?

   I’m not saying that Manny is unattractive: maybe, just maybe, some women have developed a taste for his looks.  But that’s a non-issue.  Had Manny been single, there would have been a perfect excuse for him to do some thinly-disguised philandering at a bar.  I feel for Jinky Pacquiao: being married to a hugely popular boxing superstar and entertainment icon is bad enough, and she had to put up with her husband being linked to so many showbiz personalities.  I don’t know what would go on in her mind if she hears about this.

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   Besides, there’s no denying the allegation that Manny has already become so pig-headed.  Here’s a guy who slept in cardboard boxes as a kid.  In his early days as a boxer, Manny didn’t fight for glory: he fought for something to put in his stomach.  The soonest that Manny became this larger-than-life “superstar,” Manny was no longer the consummate pugilist: the decent boxer who did good, the kind of man who deserves a statue alongside the likes of Pancho Villa and Gabriel “Flash” Elorde.  The more that Manny commits self-imposed acts of character assassination, we who follow boxing become more exposed not only to his mistakes as a man, but his mistakes as a boxer.

   Make no mistake about it: no matter how many Magic Sing microphones are sold all over the world carrying a karaoke version of “Para Sa ‘Yo Ang Laban Na ‘To,” Manny is, was, and forever will be a boxer.  The soonest that Manny quit being a “boxer” and became a “superstar,” his boxing talent diminished.  What grandness, what pride would it have been if Manny took extra miles in his practice to legitimately knock out Erik Morales.

   You have rising stars like Boom Boom Bautista and AJ Banal who shy away from the glitz and glamor of entertainment, and are making shockwaves everywhere.  Not because of their “scandals,” but because they are honing themselves in the gym, guided by some hope that one day, they’ll be like Manny Pacquiao.  You have young men working out in gyms, fighting for loose change in rundown arenas with sunken canvasses and sagging ropes, hoping that one day, they’ll be like Manny Pacquiao.

   I beg to differ.

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   You might be telling yourselves that I’m just one of them gnat-like bloggers: pests who misinterpret the right to publicly-disclosed information.  “Pseudo-journalists” who don’t have editorial policies.  You might even say that we leech upon Manny’s popularity (or anyone else’s, for that matter) and destroy his public life because we have nothing better to do on idle afternoons.

   Of course I am, but at the same time, I’m not.  You see, like every Filipino, I once had the utmost respect for Manny Pacquiao.  I believed in Manny Pacquiao.  I placed bets not against Manny, but for Manny.  I overlooked every mistake he made in the ring and believed that this was going to be a short, exciting fight worth my bet.

   They say that the boxer must lord things over in two rings: the boxing ring that wins you championships, and the boxing ring that is life itself.  Manny is winning the first few rounds of the boxing ring that is life: he’s getting money, undivided attention, and indiscreet trips to Embassy.  But what of his public life, his family life, his place in history?  No one knows for sure.  But the history books right now are writing that one part of Manny’s history that we should all look forward to forgetting: Superstar Manny.  Rockstar Manny.  And when it all comes down, when all the lights go out and the fans start leaving, there really ain’t no such thing.

   That ain’t all that goes with being a rock star.  Ah, Cypress Hill.