If you’ve known me for quite a while now, I have the reputation of being a spoilsport.

Under normal circumstances, I am not a thrill-seeker or an adventurer.  My idea of cheap thrills is to smoke at a gasoline station: it’s safe, but you never know when you’ll be in the middle of a disastrous explosion a’la Zoolander.

My life is boring, redundant, and has no surprises: just the way (a-ha, a-ha) I like it.

Not when you’re with your workmates at Enchanted Kingdom and almost everyone wants to go to this ride:

Oh yes.  Maestro, play Carl Orff’s Carmina Burana.

Continue Reading »

“I am bound to this planet by a trail of six people.”

- John Guare, Six Degrees of Separation (1990)

At last week’s Philippine Blog Awards, where I accepted my “defeat” over some delicious Caesar’s salad rolls (whatever Yaya, I’m such a gracious loser), I made the idle threat to The Jester-in-Exile that the six-degrees-of-separation thing may be enough reason for me to “quit blogging,” although I still have to make a flame-bait article that will make me obscenely famous.

I’m already the next big thing to hit the Baltic States (yes, I already have a bookmark from the Estonians), but I’m still not contented.

Although really, it bothers me to know the following things over at the PBA and this weekend’s Bloggers’ Oktoberfest:

1. The Blogger in Black and the Man in the Floppy Hat are hometown neighbors (I live in Brookside and he lives in Navy Base).
2. Me and Shari were former schoolmates (to think that we belonged to the same organization, went to the same computer shop, and never - at those moments, at least - even talked).
3. The Warrior Lawyer is a true-blue Baguio boy like myself (strangely enough, Atty. Butch has family in La Trinidad, which is like a jeepney ride from my place).
4. Myuzeeshun and I have a common friend, Santaflor, who I can now conveniently call my “blogging mom” (it’s Santaflor’s old blog that inspired me to start blogging).
5. Josiah’s Catering, who fed the bloggers with those Caesar’s salad rolls I love so much, is where Xaris works for.
6. Myself and Marcelle Fabie both have a thing for Bluetooth headsets placed just above the right ear (that’s destiny, dude).

You think that you already have enough of the six-degrees thing going on in Friendster or Facebook, but it never occurred to me that this can all happen in real life.  It begs for a bad karaoke hit from the olden times:

The world is getting smaller, the population grows
Where oh where can sweethearts go when they wanna be alone
Out to the park we went walking, to a quiet spot by the lake
We found some kids playing cowboy there and they wouldn’t go away
So no romance that day…

Dum didlee-hi-dee, dum-didlee yea, where can you hide away
Dum didlee-hi-dee, dum-didlee yea, where can you hide away

- Mark Dinning, “The World Is Getting Smaller”

Will I live-blog?  Nope: I figure that an entire queue of (electric) power-hungry bloggers here in De La Salle University College of Saint Benilde will all take their turns at power outlets.  I think a big-ass battery pack is in order, but not till I get my 13th month pay.

Anyway, live from whatever-the-fuck-this-auditorium’s-name-is in CSB, this is WordCamp Philippines 2008.

Everyone’s got a WordCamp shirt (or at least everybody I know and have met before, like Ria, Arbet, Shari and Arpee), and thanks to the power of not having PayPal, I don’t have one.  I should say I don’t care, but I think a lot of WordPress-titude must have something to do with having a cool-looking shirt.  For starters, I do have some WordPress item-age at my disposal (in more senses of the term):

• WordPress sticker (this is SO going to my cubicle)
• WordCamp pass (I laminated it, so?)
• WordCamp Camper’s Badge.

Some notes on my Camper’s Badge… this is an absolute first in my four years of blogging: I can understand being called “Marocharim” every now and then, but I have never been called “Marocharim Rimorin” before.  Ever.  Just to be clear, I’m not complaining, I’m not making a big deal out of having a nickname I don’t use, but calling me “Marocharim Rimorin” sort of has that effect of calling me “Ronald” in public.

Again, I’m not complaining.

Anyway, WordCamp just started.  Viva la raza.

*     *     *

UPDATE 2:08 PM: Matt Mullenweg, a.k.a. WordPress God, has just introduced new innovations in the coming versions and releases of WordPress.  I’ve been skeptical of WP before, but this has GOT to be the most rock-and-fuckin’-roll content management software that there is in the world today.  So much so that even Friendster Blogs - which used to be the blogging platform for pissants - is now actually using WordPress (from TypePad, I think).

And did I just just see Ria kiss Matt?  Tonyo can’t believe it either.

*     *     *

UPDATE 3:50 PM: One of the more interesting things about being in a “bloggers’ convention” is that you get to know some parenthetical (non-tabular) demographics for laptop use.  For example, The Mordo (who is seated beside me right now… shoutouts for him pointing me to an unused power outlet) is using an Asus EEE 900, which is one of my dream machines.  Tonyo, who is also a proud owner of an Asus EEE, is the first blogger I’ve ever seen to use a Nokia E71 to blog.  There are MacBooks, of course, but I think I’m the only guy here using a Lenovo.

I got one shirt thrown at me, by the way… I didn’t leave this place empty-handed after all.

*     *     *

UPDATE 4:39 PM: Q&A with Matt Mullenweg.  Leave it to me to ask the tough, important questions:

Marocharim: Why is your blog entitled “Unlucky in cards?”
Matt: In the States we have a saying, “Unlucky in cards, unlucky in love.”  So it kind of goes that way.

Hoo-hah, Ria, the swooning seems to work!

Marocharim: OK sir, who would you vote for?
Matt: I’m taking a chance, I’m voting Barack Obama.

There you go, ladies and gentlemen, Matt Mullenweg, founding developer of WordPress, is voting for Barack Obama.

Furthermore: WordPress is an equal opportunity employer.  That’s it, I’m getting a job there.

I’ve never live-blogged before… pardon the rockstar-ing, but live from UCC Cafe Terrace in TriNoma, this is TMX.  (Shhh… I’m pirating free wi-fi.)

I’m here at the invitation of Abbey Tomas of Protege, where, together with some bloggers, I’ll sample UCC Cafe Terrace’s coffees and stuff.  Not my first time in UCC: my favorite stuff here include:

• Hawaiian blue soda
• Air-conditioned smoking area.

Small cups.  Servings bigger.

10:20 AM: I just had UCC Blended for this coffee sampling routine.  I doubt the caramel cubes, but that coffee was a great way to kill a bad hangover.  UCC apparently first opened in Quezon City, says Abbey: it’s not just about good coffee, but also about a good meal.  The Blended tastes a bit like, well, coffee.  Nothing the coffee aficionado would like.  I hate to be harsh, but I like my coffee kick-ass.

Cost: P129.  It’s the David Cook of UCC’s coffees.  I don’t necessarily like, but other people may like it.

UCC gets their own coffee from their own plantations in places like Indonesia and Hawaii.  Arabica, by the way; the Japanese can be very obsessive with their coffee quality.

Arpee says that Starbucks doesn’t serve food, which makes it lose compared to other coffee shops (like Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf and Seattle’s Best Coffee).  This is UCC’s distinct advantage.

Candy says that if coffee shops offer free wi-fi, then they’ll have free customers.  This UCC doesn’t offer free wi-fi yet, but hey; I’m pirating.  I think the wi-fi thingy is just from the other store.

10:31 AM: I just had UCC’s Sumiyaki.  I want more; I like it!  The coffee is very, very strong; it makes me want to do the King Leonidas outside.  That coffee is extreme, baby!  Not for those who like frappucinos from Starbucks; Sumiyaki is coffee that will kick your ass, and will make you kick people’s asses.  I love it.

UCC Vienna has a European feel.  UCC Terrace mimics a country club.  It’s kind of intimidating; so… upper-class.  Your P500 probably won’t get you far here (although I would date a certain person at UCC).

Cost: P159.  It’s the Zach de la Rocha of UCC’s coffees.  I heart Sumiyaki, definitely a must.

Roch says that the lunch menus are great here.  I don’t know: I’m a MiniStop fellow.  She also says that UCC is a comparatively affordable place.  It’s a great place to eat, because you would pay for really great food.

We’ll see… just ordered breakfast.

I’ve been browsing UCC’s menus, and boy, when they said expensive, they meant it.  Consider these prices:

• Cafe au lait (i.e. coffee with cream and sugar): P139
• Iced cafe cappuccino (i.e. what you get at Starbucks): P179
• Oreo smoothie (i.e. stuff you get at Starbucks): P129
• Filipino breakfast of beef tapa served with garlic rice, Japanese salad, and egg (i.e., tapsilog): P289

Expensive?  Yes.  Worth it?  Definitely.  We all need luxury goods one way or another, y’know.

10:41 AM: I’m sampling UCC’s Blue Mountain coffee.  It’s kind of… sour for hot coffee.  I hear it’s their most expensive coffee, but I’m very partial towards that kick-ass Sumiyaki.  Blue Mountain kind of feels like emo coffee; it’s a medley of sourness.  Bitterness.  The mood swing, the PMS, the emo episode.

It’s the kind of coffee that reminds you of the tenuousness of life… or if you take your coffee that seriously.  I’d like to think that those who appreciate depth and contrast with their coffee would really like Blue Mountain.

Cost: P399.  Musical comparison: Chris Carrabba.  Note, this is the most expensive siphon-brewed coffee available at UCC.

Chrissie just gave me her calling card.  Note to self: must get one.

I’m eavesdropping at the conversation at the other table, and as it seems, they’re talking about the different kinds of bloggers.

When an impromptu blogging thing takes place, expect a lot of gadgetry.  I see digital cameras, a new iPhone, a Canon EOS digital SLR, and my laptop.  It’s one of two things: pretentiousness (admit it) or necessity.

UCC will expand to 18 stores, says Abbey: including Cebu, Pampanga and Greenbelt 5.  No plans yet to expand to Baguio City.  Slow but sure.  Too bad… oh well.

Arpee asks how UCC measures up.  Abbey insists that they focus more on “Sit down, forget what’s happening outside.”  Target market of UCC: professionals.  At UCC Tomas Morato, their main customers are the Chinese-Filipinos.  At EDSA Connecticut: golfers.  At UCC Podium: bankers of ADB.  At UCC Paseo de Roxas: executives.

Swank?  You tell me.

11:15 AM: Had a Classic Breakfast with English Bangers, scrambled eggs, Japanese salad, and wheat bread.  The salad was made of tomatoes, cucumbers, and lettuce.  I liked the wheat bread - no butter, I like my bread without palaman - and the scrambled eggs and salad were so-so.  I ordered the bangers for the pornographic connotations in it.  Really.

The bangers were terrific.  I know they’re a swanky version of longganisa, but hey, they taste really good.  You can imagine making a sandwich out of the wheat bread, the lettuce, the eggs, and the bangers… but I have bad table manners.  (I have RSI, so I can’t handle cutlery properly).

Cost: P289.  What strikes me as rather queer about it is that the Blue Mountain coffee costs P100 more than the meal.  I ordered orange juice with the breakfast meal, because I drank a bucket of San Miguel Pale Pilsen last night.  I need detoxification.  The orange juice is not Tang or Eight O’Clock or bad orange-flavored garbage; it’s freshly-squeezed.  Excellent.

Time for dessert; the problem is, I’m not a dessert eater, so I just decided to take a photograph of the P165 Coffee Jelly Cooler:

I’m not a dessert-eater… I hate dessert.  I despise dessert with the wrath and the fury of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse.  I loathe dessert.  Under duress, I took a few bites of ice cream and coffee jelly.  It didn’t make a convert out of me, but I suppose that if you revel in the decadence of sweet vanilla ice cream and jelly made from brewed coffee, you’ll like it.

You’ll really like it.

After that we got some gift certificates (I think), UCC instant coffee (I’m giving them away to the first five people to tell me I’m sexy… whatever), pens, and a coffee cup.

Anyway, for the lowdown on UCC…

I could rant and rave about how much I don’t like coffee shops for the annoying swankiness and poseur wealth that comes with people drinking just one coffee for three hours, but UCC is different.  UCC prides itself on its coffee, but it’s more of an experience than anything else.  Granted that it’s not exactly the cheapest place to eat, much less have a coffee, but excellence has a price.  It is pricey, but with big servings and great coffee, it’s really a good place to have an experience like no other.  It will dent your budget if you don’t make enough, but everyone needs their own bits of luxury every now and then.  That - including terrific sausage and the chemistry of 133t siphoned coffee - is enough reason to make UCC a monthly treat.

Many thanks to UCC Trinoma.  You ain’t seen the last of me.

   Everyone knows Heath Ledger to be “that guy” from Brokeback Mountain: Ennis del Mar, the gay cowboy.  Brokeback Mountain is the stuff of gay jokes, that you can make punchlines out of lines like, “We’re out of beans, Jack” or “I wish I knew how to quit you.”  In a way, popular culture cemented Heath’s legacy as a gay cowboy.  Movies he starred in, like The Patriot, Monster’s Ball, Casanova, and The Brothers Grimm have become mere footnotes to his moving performance in Brokeback Mountain.

   Heath Ledger died today at the age of 28.  Heath stands out as one of the most versatile actors in Hollywood before he died, but he is a tragic figure: he died at the prime of his life, and at the pinnacle of his career.

   As a movie fan, I say I feel a sense of loss.  All too often, when an actor dies, we remember performances and not people.  We remember actors for the masks they wear on the silver screen, the roles they portray, and nothing else.  Those performances become engrained so much in our minds: when Heath Ledger died, most of us remembered Brokeback Mountain.  I can’t say that we remember him for anything else outside of being a performance, but that’s just it.  Save for papparazzi reports and the Hollywood press, that’s all there is for us to mourn and grieve about Heath Ledger.

   But then again, Heath is immortalized in celluloid: we may not know a lot about him, nor would we know the whole story behind his death.  Heath Ledger lives in his work, in every performance in his 12 years in cinema.  In that short time, Heath Ledger has proven to be one of the great actors of our time.

   He will be missed.

   It’s late in the evening, she’s wondering what clothes to wear.  She puts on her makeup, and brushes her long blond hair.  And then she asks me, “Do I look all right?”

   And I say, “What in the hell am I doing at your house, and in your room of all places?”

   We go to a party.  And everyone turns to see: this beautiful lady, who’s walking around with me.  And then she asks me, “Do you feel all right?”

   And I say, “Not really.  Everyone’s required to attend, anyway.”

   It’s time to go home now, and I have an aching head.  So I give her the car keys, she tucks me to bed.  And then I tell her as I turn out the light:

   I said, “Darlin’, you better get home before your dad comes a-lookin’ for you with his shotgun.”

   Today - OK, awhile ago - 150 or so bloggers from the Philippines trooped to TriNoma Mall in Quezon City to literally “pig out” at the TriNoma Bloggers’ Food Tour.  As I’m told (and man, did I miss it), bloggers ate out - for free - at participating establishments at TriNoma.

   DAMN!

   Yet again, an offline blogging event I missed.  I missed out on such important offline events as Bloggers’ Kapihan and iBlog3: all because I live far away from Metro Manila.  Of course, organizing an offline blog event here in Baguio City is out of the question (unless some corporate sponsor will do so).  Besides, I’m a terrible events organizer.

   Having a blog event quotient (BEQ) of zero, I think I can partly explain why The Marocharim Experiment is a “sleeper blog:” that is to say that while many people know that I exist, people really don’t have an idea of who I am.  The only notable exception in the Philippine blogosphere is Shari Cruz, who went to the same school I did, and says she sort of “stalked” my blog before.  The thing is, as much as we both know each other at face value, we never talked personally.

   It’s not that I’m “controversial” or anything, but I have heard what I call “Maro-Myths,” like:

• I’m a sociopathic fat guy with big thick glasses and bad acne;
• I’m an emo type who slashes his own wrists, and my personal favorite;
• I am a paraphilic gay dude (which probably explains the sexual metaphors pertaining to anuses and fecal matter).

   One of my New Year blogging resolutions is to attend at least one offline blog event.  Oh sure, like they work.

   My good friend Thea posted a comment in my Friendster account asking if I was the one she saw at Nevada Square.  I also happened to see Abel, and perhaps the whole of UP Baguio’s Debate Society and some members of the University Student Council.  It sort of begs the question: what in the heck was I doing at Nevada Square?

   Anyone who has been in Baguio lately would know that Nevada is the destination for drunken debauchery.  While I am known for consuming copious amounts of alcohol, I don’t do my drinking in nightclubs.  “House music” strikes me as porno music, and I don’t take too lightly to glowing balls (so to speak).  Besides, I’d rather sit down with drunken men in a sari-sari store than to squeeze myself (so to speak) at La Cuna.

   My good friend Ian also sort of “caught” me there, and asked if I was a regular there.  A regular?  Do I go to the University of Nevada earning my Bachelor’s Degree in Alcohology?  Nope: for one, I find their prices atrocious, and the blue-ness of Bedroom is nauseating.  Looking at scantily-clad clubbers also gets stale after the first few minutes of discreet ogling.

   I’d rather sit down on an easy chair nursing a bottle of Jack Daniel’s, doing my Al Pacino impersonations.

   It’s the New Year.  Bring it, 2008.

   A year ago, we visited a faith healer in a remote hill at Pozzorrubio, Pangasinan, to find some cure for my psychosis.  I have nothing against faith healing in general, but I don’t buy into it.  But outside of his trick of balancing an egg to a 25-centavo coin, he thinks that I’m actually clairvoyant.  It’s not that I hold the secret to Armageddon, but he thinks that I have the power to predict the near future.

   There are too many things that will obviously happen in 2008, but I am going out on a limb with a few prophecies of showbiz events that will happen this year.

*     *     * 

   The libel suit filed by GMA-7 against ABS-CBN will be quashed.

   The ongoing feud between Joey de Leon and Willie Revillame will reach new lows this year: Joey will once again refer to a new YouTube video exposing scams in the newly-relaunched “Pera o Bayong,” and Willie will refer to a new YouTube video exposing scams in “On the Spot Jackpot” where answers are written on the question cards.

   New emerging faces in showbiz would be Aiko of the ASF Dancers, and Chloe of 26K: the former would be 2008’s Diana Zubiri, and the latter would be the Vanna White of the Filipino version of “Wheel of Fortune.”  Rhian Ramos would move to ABS-CBN, but the biggest “ober da bakod” of the year would be Judy Ann Santos or Kristine Hermosa moving to GMA-7.

   Marian Rivera would be the leading lady of Richard Gutierrez.  Speaking of Gutierrezes, Ruffa and Yilmaz will be back together in the latter half of 2008, with Annabelle Rama finally giving in.  White Castle will be endorsed in calendars by Anne Curtis.  Lolit Solis would be convicted of libel, and Alfie Lorenzo will replace her in “StarTalk.”

   In an unprecedented move, the biggest local movie project for this year would be the comeback of Gabby Concepcion, starring in a family drama with his former wife Sharon Cuneta and his daughter KC Concepcion.

   Although I could be wrong…

December 31, 2007

   As much as you say how much I have been part of your life, I would like to take this opportunity to tell you how much you have been a part of mine.

   In the three years that I’ve sat here to write, I always think of you.  You who come here regularly - some of you every day - to end your day on a better note.  I’ve heard some of your stories over the years.  There was one who got an administrative notice for wiring a proxy server to read what I have to write.  There was one who, after splitting up from her boyfriend, looked here to find some words of inspiration.  There are many others: a poignant one being that of the OFW who comes here every so often to read stories from home while talking to her family on a webcam.

   It hits me - hard - to think about the responsibility that has weighed down on my shoulders for these past three years that this blog is no longer just “mine,” but also yours as well.  Every so often, I think about the word “I,” and am tempted to replace it with “we.”  After all, every time I write about a “unique experience,” everyone else experiences it.  You, more than anyone else, experiences it.

   I enjoy - and continue to enjoy - writing.  Not because it’s therapeutic or anything, but because you make all this effort worthwhile.  And in 2008, you will most probably come back here and read what I have to say and end your days in a better note.

   From the get-go, there were always naysayers who told me that I would never amount to anything, that my writing style sucks, and that anyone can do what I do - even better.  I paid heed to those words, knowing that I can prove them wrong.  Needless to say, I didn’t: you proved them wrong.  You stayed here and you took me on.  You stayed.  When I felt left out knowing that the only thing I did for 11 years - campus journalism - was taken away from me because they didn’t think I belonged or I deserved it, you took me in.

   I do not know how to pay you guys back, knowing that what you did for the past three years cost you a lot.  But if anything, the only thing I can think about right now for all these years of you staying is for me to stay.

   All I’m saying is thank you.  Thank you for the support, the kindness, and the confidence.  Thank you.

Best regards for the New Year,

Marocharim