Let’s make this quick.

I don’t have a messianic complex.  Instead, I have a rockstar/professional wrestler complex.  What if I had an entrance theme?

For the first time in the short history of VotW’s, this has nothing to do with jologs-ness.  If I had an “entrance theme,” it would be this:

Never mind the bollocks, here comes Marocharim.

It’s been a while since the last Video of the Week, so I think now would be a good time to post one.  This week’s video has given me one of the worst Last Song Syndromes in months.  Enjoy:

To invoke Ricky Carandang, I blog to piss people off.  To be exact, I post Videos of the Week to piss people off.  Yes, this week’s video is the shibuya-kei classic by Pizzicato Five, “Sweet Soul Revue.”  Yes, brings back memories of bad animé, Pauly Shore movies, and Gift Gate.

Anyway, moving on…

Let’s digress from political rants and just, well, spazz.  It’s a weekend and I’m bored.

My friend Erik says that my choices of Video of the Week are rather… well, disturbing.  I am told that some of my friends think that I have descended into madness because of my VotW choices (especially the previous winner).  On my defense, I have a very broad taste in music.  I listen to as much Smashing Pumpkins as I do Destiny’s Child.  If not for my work schedule, I would have memorized more Willie Revillame songs (even that new “Banana Split” thing that I just heard when I was having my laundry done).

Interesting (completely unverified and may be completely untrue) fact: today marks the sixth (or maybe seventh) year anniversary of F4 mania.  Are these memories best left forgotten?  Hmmm… try this on for size:

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Yes, this week’s Video of the Week comes courtesy of Harlem Yu.  Disturbed?  I certainly hope so.

In case you have forgotten, “Qing Fei De Yi” was the opening theme of the original “Meteor Garden” series, when “Dao Ming Si” and “Shan Cai” were still household names.  This was a time when Vanness Wu’s haircut was extremely popular (not one of them side-swept cover-one-eye I-have-pubes-on-only-one-of-my-balls-if-you-check-my-nutsack-and-yes-my-penis-also-has-cuts-on-it-because-I’m-not-circumcised haircuts of today… whew).  These are the moments where I actually wish I actually watched “Meteor Garden,” for no apparent reason.  What pissed me off back then was that Josh Santana (whatever happened to him, anyway) became the Ted Ito of this generation, and made his own rendition of “Qing Fei De Yi.”  Surprisingly, I still memorized the Tagalog version,. which was entitled “Biyahe.”

Which basically means I don’t have to translate anymore.

I’m here at an Internet café in Cubao, and I have a few hours to kill before I have dinner with some bloggers over at Greenhills.  I figure that now would be a good time to present my choice for Video of the Week.

I like to think I have a very broad taste in music (considering the past winners of VotW).  I do like listening to Rage Against the Machine, Rob Zombie, Metallica, and Marilyn Manson, but we all can’t listen to the same genre of music every day.  We need to expand our horizons to include the kind of music we grew up with.  For my generation, that would include The Moffatts, Gil Ofarim, Hanson, A1, and Five.

And then there’s this group.  Here’s this week’s VotW:

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Yes, this week’s VotW is that 1990s pop hit by 911, “The Day We Find Love.”  This may sound like a horrible choice for VotW considering that nobody will ever confess to listening to 911.  But there’s at least one guy who posted a comment in the video who’s at least being honest (clue: he’s the only Filipino brave enough to post his true feelings about the song).

This wouldn’t be VotW if I didn’t translate lyrics, so…

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‘Di to ang una, ‘di magwawakas pa…

Wag kang mag-alala, ‘di ko naman sinasadya
Mauubos din ang luha
Hahayaan ba kitang magparaya?
Hinihiling ko lang, sabihin mo ang totoo
Yun lang ang tangi kong hiling, na sana’y maalala mo pa ako

Ang tanging nagpalaya sa iyo
Konting oras lang ang kailangan mo
Pagmamahal natin
Di pa huli ang lahat

‘Di to ang una, ‘di magwawakas pa
Ang puso ko’y tanging sa yo lamang
Maghihintay din, ‘di lilisanin
Hanggang tayo’y muling magkakapiling

Di ako susuko, habang may pag-asa pa
Panaginip na walang wakas, pag-ibig na walang kasing-wagas
Sa puso ko ay ikaw pa rin ang aking mahal
Ngunit sabi-sabi nila ay, handa mo na raw ako na iwan

Paano na ang nakaraan
Ang ating pinagdaanan
Wag mo sanang kalimutan
Di pa huli ang lahat

‘Di to ang una, ‘di magwawakas pa
Ang puso ko’y tanging sa yo lamang
Maghihintay din, ‘di lilisanin
Hanggang tayo’y muling magkakapiling

Alaalahanin mo, na ako lang nagparaya para sa yo
Konting oras lang, sana’y mahal mo pa rin ako

‘Di to ang una, ‘di magwawakas pa
Ang puso ko’y tanging sa yo lamang
Maghihintay din, ‘di lilisanin
Hanggang tayo’y muling magkakapiling…

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That has got to be my suckiest translation so far.  Whew!  Catch you on the flipside, Marochaholics!

I was listening to some performances of Shooter Jennings, but “Electric Rodeo” is not the Video of the Week.  I personally would nominate “Sweet Soul Revue” by Pizzicato 5, but I opted against it considering last week’s video, which was “Saigo No Iiwake.”

The inspiration for the Video of the Week is a conversation with an old friend: among the many love songs out there, what song are you guilty of listening to that is completely off your personality?  Oh boy.

So it’s not “Perfect” by Alanis Morissette, “Crash Into Me” by The Dave Matthews Band, nor is it “Wonderwall” by Oasis.  Not “Linger” by The Cranberries, and certainly not “Wonderful Tonight” by Eric Clapton.

To a probable stalker, the Video of the Week is useful Marocharim trivia.  Just what love song can make this cold-hearted jerk with arteries of stone and ventricles of concrete weep with the passion of a Gabriel Garcia Marquez protagonist?

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You may now descend into meaningless, inconsiderate, ego-deflating laughter.  Yes, the original soundtrack to “The Lake House” is the song that never fails to make me cry.

“This Never Happened Before” is the kind of song that I would like played on my completely hypothetical, theoretical wedding (I had to emphasize that).  After all, a lot of possible ocassions can call for my rather weird interpretations of songs.  Consider the following examples:

• On my funeral: “Staying Alive” by The Bee Gees.  Everyone should wear tight bell-bottomed polyester pants, and two dancers should do the scene from “Dirty Dancing” right on top of my mirror-encrusted neon-lighted coffin.

• On the day of my daughter’s wedding: “Bitch” by Meredith Brooks.  I am very certain that my daughter will be a sexy lesbian dominatrix in leather and lace.

• On the day of my son’s wedding: Those country guitar twangs from “Brokeback Mountain.”  I am sure that my gay son will be asking for a honeymoon with his husband and ask me for two horses, a tent, and a big flock of sheep.

It’s not like I’m Keanu Reeves material (though I can imitate his voice), but I am very certain that you have to agree with me: this is one pretty nice song.  But my appreciation for this song is offset if I translate it into Filipino, since it sounds like it could be the next (oh boy) Willie Revillame hit.

I won’t go that far.

This week’s video comes not from Alice in Chains, who did sing “No Excuses.”  Nor is it the I-wear-eyeliner-and-slash-my-wrists-emo bullshit that I don’t listen to (even if the key is to annoy myself enough at work to actually do some work).  Here it goes… my random thoughts after the video.

Yes, Hideaki Tokunaga’s “Saigo No Iiwake” (roughly translated: “Last Excuse”) is the Video of the Week.  You may remember certain renditions and reprises of this classic Japanese hit, like that of 1990s Filipino balladeer Ted Ito, 1990s pop icon Jocelyn Enriquez, and Keempee de Leon (way before he became a popular noontime show host where chismosa housewives of the “Kapamilya” camp constantly question his sexual orientation).

If my memory serves me right, “Saigo No Iiwake” is the audition piece of many Filipino entertainers auditioning for a job in Japan (the derogatory term is, of course, “Japayuki”).  I don’t mean to make this come across as an insult, but I think nobody would dispute seeing provocatively dressed women singing this in a Japanese recruitment agency or at a nightclub.  Or that no philandering nightclub patron would ever dispute the fact that even in sobriety, the only word they can sing confidently is “Ichiban.”  For us kids, this song was in the finale of that classic TV hit, Maskman.

Had I been a singer, here’s my reprise:

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Now that you have gone, I don’t know what to say
What do I do, now that you’ve gone away
A love that I betrayed
What would I need to do to make you stay?

I hold my head up high while I walk in the rain
Hiding my tears, but it’s all in vain
I can’t stand the pain
What would I need to be in your arms again?

Everything I did, and everything I said
I can’t help but look back, though I should look ahead
Sorry for the things I ever said and done
It’s my last excuse, for you’re my only one

All that remains is just one picture of you
I remember all the things we used to do
The pain I can’t undo
Whatever happened to a love that’s so true?

Oh my love, I’m so sorry, for breaking your heart
A mistake I’ll regret, ‘coz it tore us apart
I can’t bear to watch and see you depart
My last excuse, you’re always in my heart

Everything I did, and everything I said
I can’t help but look back, though I should look ahead
Sorry for the things I ever said and done
It’s my last excuse, for you’re my only one

What happened to a love that was etched in stone
Oh my love, please don’t leave me, on my own…
If there’s one sin that I need to atone
It’s my last excuse, for leaving you alone.